It's time.

4 months have come and gone. We are now less than 24 hours away from hospital admission time. Our bags are packed, Elli's grandma is on the way to pick her up, our dog has left with my parents, our room at the Ronald McDonald House have been confirmed, pre-admission registration is complete.. We are ready.

But not really.

I am not ready to hand my little boy over to have his chest cut open. Not ready to sit in a brightly colored waiting room for hours, waiting for my phone to ring with an update from the surgeon. I'm not ready to see the fear, confusion, and anger in my two year old's eyes when he wakes and realizes what has happened. I'm not ready to watch him suffer and know that I can't do anything to help him.

God, this sucks. This pain and fear.. I wouldn't dare wish it on another soul.

Oh, Jesus, hear my cries.. Please take care of my sweet boy.


We are checking into the RMH house this evening. We need to be at surgery registration at 7AM tomorrow morning. Evan cannot have anything to eat after midnight tonight and only clear fluids until 5AM. After his heart cath, while he is still sedated, he will get an echo of his heart. He will then be sent to the CVICU for the rest of the day/night. Evan is the first surgical case on Tuesday. We should have the "exact" time tomorrow. I will be giving brief updates via Facebook and will be updating my blog as well.

Friends, please pray for Evan, pray for Scott & I. We are worried, anxious, nervous, scared.. We need to be strong for Evan. Please specifically pray for God to guide his surgeon's hands. To be with everyone in the operating room Tuesday and everyone in the cath lab tomorrow. Pray that Evan has a quick recovery and that he doesn't have to battle extra fluid in his chest. Pray for no complications..

Thank you.