I know I will never forget, yet I feel the need to reminisce about that day two years ago when I thought my life was ending. I sobbed hysterically for hours, searching online for any and all hope that the Doctors were wrong- that my baby boy's heart could still grow before he was born and be whole.
I remember having to call all of our family, close friends, and co-workers, and tell them that our son was critically ill and would literally need to fight to live once he was separated from me. No one knew what to say.
I remember too many nights spent calling out to God to fix my son. Begging for a miraculous healing for Evan. Oh, if only I knew..
He had a bigger plan for me, for us, for my family.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
I can't deny that I have struggled with this verse over the past two years more than I would like to admit. It's so hard to shake all the fear; to trust that He knows what is best for my boy.. Yet every.single.time I have feared, the Lord has reassured me that all is well. He has got this!
If I could have peeked into my future, to see how full of life this little boy is, I never would have believed it was real. Living with half a heart sounds so impossible! But thriving with half a heart? No way. Yet here he is, so incredibly happy, with bright brown eyes that shine and a smile that you literally can't resist. And I love him, I adore him! Every single hug, kiss, and smile is treasured in this house. Every single thing I took advantage of in my pre-heart mom life is treasured!
Life pre-heart momma status was ok. And life in the early stages as a heart momma was difficult. But being a heart momma now.. is incredible. God will never give you more than you can handle, this I have learned, struggle after struggle..
Yesterday Evan had a routine Cardiology visit. He was super bummed out, his favorite nurse and sonographer weren't in the office and I could tell he missed them. We are really lucky that Evan has always loved the office visits. I've heard countless horror stories of children crying as soon as they walk in the door, and who can blame them!! We are usually in the office for 2 hours during Evan's appointments, cooperating for that long is a challenge for an adult, let alone a toddler! But every time he amazes us! Evan was giggling and saying "NO" to every question asked.
Evan's O2 sats were in the low 80's yesterday, which is just a tad lower than normal. His EKG and Echo results were fantastic though! There appeared to be no change from his last visit 3 months ago and everyone was impressed with how tall Evan is getting! He is now 34" and 27lbs, which means he has grown 3" since the beginning of the year!
No changes were made at his appointment and we will be returning in 3 months for the next follow up.
Now, I know this was all fantastic news, but I really saved the most exciting for last.. On the way home, Evan fell asleep in the car AND stayed asleep when I brought him inside and laid him in his bed! No joke, that was the first time in the history of Evan that this has happened! Seriously, if you're the parent of a baby who refuses to nap in the car, you will understand my excitement. ;)
I hope to post in the very near future that Evan is walking, he is so close! Please continue to pray for his physical delays. I can't wait to see him walk and run with his friends! <3